|
Written by Administrator
|
|
Friday, 09 October 2009 06:59 |
|
- Man to dog trainer: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes into the corner." Dog trainer: "That's OK, he is a Boxer."
- A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replies, "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any!"
- During break time at obedience school, two dogs were talking. One said to the other..."The thing I hate about obedience school is you learn ALL this stuff you will never use in the real world."
- A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says "My dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" The vet says, "Well, let's have a look at him." So the vet picks the dog up while examining his eyes. Finally he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Just because he is cross-eyed?" "No, because he is really, really heavy."
- A little girl asks her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "The dog is in heat, go ask daddy." Little girl goes and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Dad asks, "Where is Susie?" Little girl says, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block. But another dog is pushing her home."
- A burglar is sneaking through this house one night, when out of the darkness comes a voice, "I can see you, and so can Jesus". The burglar freezes in his tracks and is too frightened to move. After ten minutes, nothing has happened so he moves forward. Again from the darkness comes the voice, "I can see you, and so can Jesus". The burglar is petrified and too frightened to move a muscle. After thirty minutes, he decides to do something. He backs very slowly and tentatively to the wall and feels around for a light switch. He switches on the light and there in front of him, sit a cockatoo in a cage, who says, "I can see you, and so can Jesus". Greatly relieved, the burglar sighs, "It's just a cocky". The cocky looks at the burglar and says, "I might be just a cocky but Jesus is a big German Shepherd".
- Father and son were walking hand in hand when they saw two dogs "doing it" in the middle of the street. The dad got all flustered and told his son that the big brown dog hurt his paw, and the little white dog was helping him across the street. The boy thought a minute, then looked up and said, "Isn't that just like life? You try to help someone and get screwed!"
- Peter smuggled a puppy with him on an airliner by hiding it inside his pants. During the flight, the hostess saw him grinning broadly and asked why. He told her what he had done. "But," asked the stewardess, "is the puppy housebroken?" "Hell," said Peter, "he ain't even been weaned yet!"
- One day, a dog ran out into the street and was killed by a passing car. The woman was in tears that night when her husband came home. His efforts to comfort her were to no avail. Finally, he said, "Darling, stop crying and I'll buy you a new hat." "But," she cried, "if you knew how much I miss him you'd make that a fur coat."
- Morton walked into a department store and asked the floor walker to hold his dog for a minute. When he returned the floor walker was kicking the poor little pup. "Why are you kicking that defenseless dog?" Morton asked. "Why shouldn't I?" said the floor walker. "He lifted up his leg like he was going to kick me!"
|
|
Last Updated on Tuesday, 14 December 2010 18:34 |
DOG JOKES
